progressmods | progress city test drive #3

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test drive

progress city test drive #3

TEST DRIVE MEME
Here You Leave Today And Enter The World Of Yesterday, Tomorrow And Fantasy. Welcome to Progress City's second test drive meme! This game is a panfandom jamjar set in a flux dimension inspired by Disney Theme Parks (particularly Walt Disney World in Florida) and the original concept for EPCOT (a city that would connect to the theme parks). Whether you're looking to join us or are just here to play around for a little bit, we have a few prompts below for you - but you're also free to come up with your own! Reserves are always open!
Prompt A Whatever you're doing, wherever you are, you find a vintage-looking ticket. The next time you blink or close your eyes for any reason, you open them and find yourself somewhere else - Progress City's Ticket and Transportation Center. You have no idea how you got here, and definitely don't know how you got this weird thing on your wrist... You'll learn, eventually, that Progress City and it's world-class themeparks are a popular tourist dimension across this universe. People can get in here very easily, but for some reason, that unremovable band on your wrist isn't allowing you to use their transporters to get home. To compensate, you'll be offered a job in the parks and free housing for the duration of your stay. Is that something you're willing to take?
Prompt B While you're here, you might as well spend some time around the theme parks in your downtime. It's easy enough to get to them - the city offers free 24/7 monorail and peoplemover transportation to each park, and you also get a free annual pass for yourself with your stay (lucky you)! If you're at all familiar with Walt Disney World, these four parks will seem...remarkably familiar to you. But there's little subtle differences here and there that that make this seem different - and the ones in charge will seem confused by the concept of a "Walt Disney World". Must be a thing about different dimensions. Nevertheless, you're still going to have the occasional bit of free time here, so there's plenty to see and do here across all four areas. Go ride some rides and eat some Dole Whip, you crazy kids.
Prompt C With the housing, you also get offered a job by Progress City's mayor. Maybe you decide to take it, maybe you don't, he's not gonna kick you out of your apartment unless you deserve it. But this poses a good way to get some actual money. You'll be matched to a job around the resort - hopefully one you enjoy. You could end up working in the parks as a ride operator, serving food, managing a shop, working security, or ending up as a pool lifeguard. There are a number of possibilities here, and you can always change your job later on if you find one that may suit you more.
Prompt D Over time, the thing on your wrist changes. Namely, it'll start taking on new colors, designs and occasionally icons that reflect your character's personality and appearance. You'll find that by concentrating you'll be able to utilize your band to... cast magic spells, of all things. These also seem tailored to your character - summoning weapons, creating projectiles, putting foes to sleep? It seems that no two bands are alike when it comes to this. ...Occasionally, you'll spot one or two small ink blot-like creatures scurrying about the city or the parks, creating an inky mess and leaving a small amount of chaos in it's wake. Those don't seem advertised. Perhaps they'd be good to try out your new abilities on, or maybe you'd prefer to practice a little bit first.
Prompt E Every now and again, the city will host a Festival! Progress City prides itself in making festivals with great food and drink, and will happily let its citizens enjoy it for a nice discount! You can either look up examples of Disney festival treats or make up some yourself, but rest assured, everything you order will be simply amazing. If you're not too busy getting drunk to stand, there are also other events you can participate in! There are also small events your character can participate in! In this hypothetical festival, your character can take a cooking class, attend a seminar to learn basic magic tricks (with real magic!), or try out a fancy new VR game where you fight against other players as giant robots.
Wildcard As always, feel free to come up with your own scenario if none of these inspire you!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Jedediah may not know a single goddamn thing about science, but the name of the pill is straight-forward enough for him to sound Extremely Judgmental as he hears the pitch from a nearby tabletop.]

Why in God's name would you wanna be any bigger than y'already are? You people are freakishly tall as is.

Well, we once had a frog sniper on our tail, as well as a bunch of people trying to kill our friend Mr. Kermit The Frog. Someone ate a bunch of those pills and managed to scare them off! I'd say it's incredibly effective.

[Bunsen punctuates that last bit with a nod.]

On the flip side, I'm pretty sure I have the prototypes for shrinking pills, too. Sure you don't want either of them?

Boy, if you can't chase off a frog with nothin' but sheer grit then that ain't a problem any of your fancy size pills can fix.

[He just gives Bunsen the most fuckin dead-eyed stare he can muster at the very concept of shrinking pills. Still, though, it's with a surprising amount of reluctance that he brushes the offer away entirely. Frankly he'd be lying if he said he wasn't slightly interested in the first concept.]

Nah. Don't think we can even take pills, bein' plastic and what-not.

[And anyways, he'd bet all the money he doesn't have that Bunsen created them for giant-sized folks. He's not gonna take a goddamn bite out of a pill.]

Far as I've tested out, you don't need to be flesh and blood to be affected by these experiments. My partner and I are made of felt and foam and definitely not immune to any of these.

[oh no he Insists! The absolute madman is crushing the pill into pieces with a knife and fork, as if it's some kind of steak dinner]

There we go! A free Insta Growth Pill ready for consumption.

[BUNSEN YOU ABSOLUTE UNIT]

Felt 'n foam ain't the same thing as plastic, cantaloupe! There's a whole world'a difference!

[He's just digging his heels in at this point but in his defense it looks gross and he doesn't trust like that. But he uncrosses his arms and wanders vaguely closer after a few seconds anyways, warily nudging some of it with his boot. He's not great at feigning disinterest.]

...You've tested these, right? Ain't one'a them proto... uh... [He definitely can't remember the word he's looking for.] ...un-tested sorta things.

Actually it's Dr. Honeydew! Dr. Cantaloupe's my cousin. What I meant to say is, they'll work on anything.

[There's still a decent amount of weird dust left, which he throws to the nearest plant. It...It sure is growing pretty fast. Perhaps twice of its original size]

Definitely, but the prototypes are the shrinking pills. These ones are uhhhhhhhhhhh [counts on his strange muppet hands] the third or fourth version, I believe.

[why is he like This]

I don't care if you're Dr. Cucumber or Dr. Horseradish, I ain't here to discuss your family tree! I'm here to discuss your credentials!

[He can't decide if the plant thing is neat or alarming. Actually, he just can't decide if this guy in general is alarming or not. But he's not known for his tendency to look before he leaps, and 80% of his impulse control is currently back in a New York museum.]

So how quick'd you say they wear off, again?

My credentials? I graduated from Carnegie Mellonhead University with a doctorate in quantum physics. I'm Chief Scientist In Charge of Everything, mainly in Muppet Labs.

[He doesn't sound arrogant about it or anything, he's just throwing his information out there like a cheery, upbeat customer services manager.]

Hmmm about five minutes, give or take. I may improve on it again sometime in the near future, and lengthen its effects.

Look, I gotta be honest with you, I haven't understood a single goddamn thing that's come outta your mouth since you and I started talkin'.

[But either way he's apparently satisfied that he won't like, die instantly if he tries it, and he can live with being slightly taller for five minutes if it ends up working. He doesn't want to bother taking the time to get water or anything, so he just takes one of the poorly crushed-up pill chunks dry.]

Don't I get money if this kills me? Ain't that how this science stuff works?

That's okay, I've been working on using layman terms- Somehow it's a lot easier when you have a lab partner instead, you know?

[What's better than this, valid dudes running rampant without their partner for impulse control?]

I think that's more of lawyer stuff than science, but I can give you about a hundred Disney Dollars if it's successful!

[if?????]

[this is fine and theyre doing great]

No, I don't know. Do I look like I work in a lab?

[Come to think of it he doesn't even know anybody who works in a-- hey, wait a second.]

Hold on, 'if'? I thought you said this thing was tested!

Truthfully you look like you walked out of a western film set, so...maybe??? We muppets take pride in our various genres.

[Bunsen thinks this guy might be one tiny, plastic muppet. He also lacks eyes,]

Silly me, I meant 'when', not if. ...It's Disney dollars, right?

[Checks his wallet to make sure]

I walked out of a western diorama, cantaloupe, haven't you ever been to a museum before? We ain't got no fancy film sets over there.

[He doesn't know what a muppet is and he's not about to ask given the circumstances. He sort of throws his arms up at the question.]

I don't know, don't ask me! It's not like I actually carry the stuff around with me. We could be usin' denarius for currency for all I know.

[He hoards the shitty too-large money in his shitty too-large apartment until he has a reason to lug a couple of bills around, which thus far hasn't occurred.]

[Bunsen snaps his fingers] That's the word! Last time I've been near a museum I think I got interrogated by both Interpol and the FBI for theft. It's probably for the best I stick to labs and theatres.

[everything happens so much]

Ooh, shoot. If only there was some way I could transfer it electronically without a hassle. Something that's about attached to every guest.

[Whatever could it be??? Bunsen assumes a thinking gesture with his left hand, which coincidentally, had the magic band. Absolutely astounding]

[Snapping, at least, is quieter when the person in question has got felt fingers, but he still side-eyes Bunsen with distaste at the sound. Mainly for making him flinch like a fool when it wasn't actually that bad. But it shifts into more of a suspicious squint after a beat, and Jed crosses his arms.]

Think so, huh? [jesus christ Larry would have a heart attack around this guy] So what'd'ya steal? A painting? Jewels? Some fancy science exhibit to help you sell fake pills?

[Listen... he'd have to take his money to the bank to even start making those convenient magic band purchases and he hasn't got any giant friends to make that trip for him yet. ]

It was an elaborate heist in order to steal the crown jewels! They framed one of us for it- and I did tell them the possibility of us, or any of the Muppets successfully committing a crime: very low.

Sure extra cash sounds lovely, but we just Cannot Do That. Personally if I needed any, I'd just go back to working at CERN.

[oh right none of them can go back home yet...whelp.]

It's not fake- why not try them if you're skeptical? I've already tested it on that plant over there!

I dunno what a Muppet's supposed to be but if you wanna steal then just go do it. We stole ourselves right outta the federal archives some-odd months ago. All about your attitude.

[He has like half a second of self-awareness where he thinks that maybe he, a museum exhibit, shouldn't be advocating stealing from museums, but it passes quickly. Mostly because he definitely interpreted Bunsen's latter statement as a dare and-- well. It's a dare.]

Y'know what, fine! Maybe I will.

[yeah he's just gonna fuckin. go for it, given he'd already picked some of the crushed pill up to inspect it. it's Real Fool Hours when Oct isn't around.]

A muppet's a...

[puppet????? a freaking puppet?????? there's probably two dudes puppeteering him right now. oh my god. ohhh my god that's like three entire arms and hands moving is little felt and fabric body right now-

but his existential crisis is saved for another time as the cowboy takes the pill.]

...anyway, bon appétit! Tell me how it tastes, I think It might be different to everyone.

[Something's bound to go wrong, even if that pill works perfectly. But Bunsen is a sensible man, and he ignores that creeping anxiety.]

[HMMMM DON'T LIKE THAT

Jed doesn't really get to answer about the taste because he's a little preoccupied with spitting to get the aftertaste off his tongue. In hindsight it may have more been beneficial to take the pill with water instead. But he has no time for examining his own mistakes when instead he could be calling out Bunsen.]

How it tastes?! It taste awful, that's how it tastes! What'd you put in this thing?

Let me check my notes.

[Time to take out his Trusty Journal that's filled to the brim with ~~bullshit~~ pseudoscience and engineering. It doesn't take to long til he flips to the right page, lifting his glasses to take a closer look]

Bunsonium, Bastardene, L-fuculokinase, and Durian. The last one which is a fruit, I believe.

Alright, that's it.

[He steps forward to jab a finger up at Bunsen, as if that adds any sort of intimidation factor at all. He doesn't know jack shit about chemical nonsense but all-in-all he feels like he's got a decent bullshit reading on the situation anyways.]

Now I know you're just makin' stuff up. That didn't taste anything like fruit! Tasted like... like garbage. Garbage and sand.

I'm not making it up! Durian's a real fruit, and these formulas should check out. Here, see for yourself and triple-check my equations.

[BUNSEN IS JUST THAT BASTARD. He starts going off about complicated scientific ~~bullshit~~ jargon.]

According to my calculations, the Insta Growth Pill should kick in...about right now.

[He wants to yell that he doesn't give a damn about equations, he just wants to argue about what is and isn't a real fruit, but he doesn't get the chance because however shitty Bunsen is at predicting side effects he's pretty good at predicting timing.

The change isn't... wildly drastic, he's not Larry-sized or anything (he genuinely thinks he wouldn't have been able to handle that) but it's still more than slightly disorienting and hey he should probably get off the table because he actually feels slightly dizzy-- but first he kind of stares at his hands in order to avoid looking at anything around him, and then looks frankly at Bunsen.]

Kinda hate this.

Presto! Science!!!

[He does some wiggly jazz hands at that]

Not to worry, everyone does! At least, a big chunk of those who's been in my experiments before.

[e n j o y]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

progress city test drive #3

D

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im losing it

this is so much

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