My credentials? I graduated from Carnegie Mellonhead University with a doctorate in quantum physics. I'm Chief Scientist In Charge of Everything, mainly in Muppet Labs.

[He doesn't sound arrogant about it or anything, he's just throwing his information out there like a cheery, upbeat customer services manager.]

Hmmm about five minutes, give or take. I may improve on it again sometime in the near future, and lengthen its effects.